Let me ask you this and be completely honest with yourself: do you think you might be playing it small in life or in business? Would you like to learn how to stop playing small?
…is the answer YES? Well then, this post is just the right one for you!
I see this too often – truly fabulous women, inside and out, undervaluing themselves, staying modest, and just playing it small in life, in relationships, in wealth, and in business.
So today’s main focus is to tackle this once and for all. I want to get you to a point where you start feeling truly deserving of everything you want. I want you to start valuing the value you bring into the world and charge accordingly.
It does not matter what your currency is, whether it is money, time, love, or energy, if you start appreciating your worth, stop playing small, and start playing big, then you will start attracting more into your world.
If you often feel like you are not truly worthy of the things you desire, put these tips into action and watch as things start to transform in your life…
“Our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate, Our deepest fear is that we’re powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. But our playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.”
Marianne Williamson
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How to stop playing small and start gaining big results?
Stop waiting for the right time.
If you get an itch to do something right now, then the right time to do it is now.
Waiting for the right time more often than not is simply an illusion. There is no such thing as the right time, and I guarantee that if you put off your dreams and desires as you wait for the right time, you will never get them.
The right time will never come because it has already passed. What truly hides behind the idea of the right time is a whole load of fear and an even greater load of excuses.
So take that leap, and have trust in yourself that you will be able to figure out any obstacles or challenges. Because the sooner you start to work towards your deepest desires, the sooner they will become a part of your life.
One thing I would say is that at times there might be a legitimate reason why you want to put things off for a while. Sometimes there is no right time, but there is a better time. That’s ok but it is up to you, to be honest with yourself and ensure it is not just an excuse but a legitimate reason.
Use your mind as a tool.
Your mind can be your best tool or your biggest weapon against yourself.
Literally!… So choose the former.
Your thoughts hold so much power over how you show up in the world. But at the end of the day, they are just THOUGHTS. They pass through your mind and shape your perception of the world and yourself. But it does not mean they are 100% accurate or accurate at all.
They are formed by the complex combination of all of your past experiences but because you sit with them all day long, with little break, they start to feel like the whole reality.
This is why your mind can be your biggest weapon against you and hold you – if your thoughts are negative, belittling, mean, or whatnot, then this will be how you will perceive yourself.
If you become aware and accept that not all thoughts have a basis in reality, then you can form a more objective filter and choose whether you decide to pay attention to them or not. Then you can begin changing the inner narrative to a warm, kind, and loving one.
This is why mindfulness is so powerful. It allows you to take a step away from your busy mind and take a more objective and balanced view of the present.
Get out of that comfort zone.
Comfort zone is such a recurring theme that there had to be separate posts dedicated just to it which you can read here:
Why life begins at the end of your comfort zone?
How to get comfortable being uncomfortable?
But whether you take a moment to read them or not it is imperative for you to understand that staying within the limits of what feels comfortable to you will mean you will always stay playing in the small leagues.
It is tough and it takes pushing past a certain type of resistance to force yourself outside your comfort zone, but it will feel amazing when you do! I guarantee that.
Why?
Because if nothing else it will give you more confidence next time and will make stepping outside your comfort zone that much easier. You will have learned a valuable lesson.
But just taking that step forward might be the very thing that helps you get everything you want.
Avoid the excuses.
Making excuses will hold you back and keep you stuck playing it small.
Make the time to get to know yourself well enough and show yourself enough respect, to be honest with yourself about when you are making an excuse.
Excuses are not based on truth, they are based on fear. This is why the best way to move past them is to face the fears head-on.
Don’t be afraid to make large leaps.
“Rome wasn’t built in one day”
“Slowly is the fastest way”
“One small step at a time”
Or other quotes which essentially say that taking small steps over time is a good way to move forwards. However, in some instances, this kind of narrative in your head can actually hold you back.
Sometimes taking a huge leap forward with a big and drastic decision is the best strategy. You will intuitively know when the right time is so don’t be afraid to take this approach.
Taking big steps forwards rather than small steps can get you to your destination faster, so don’t fall into the trap of thinking that the same approach will always work. Have the confidence to shake it up and take the LEAP.
Don’t underestimate your value.
What you offer in your business, in your products, in your skills, in your wisdom, in your heart…whatever it is, it is valuable.
Everyone has value to bring into the world and into somebody’s life. One way or another. It is easy to forget that which is why I wanted to remind you.
So always remember the value you bring.
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Charge by the value you provide.
This is particularly important in business because it is very easy to enter that state of “no one will ever pay this much for what I am selling or offering”
Why not? And how can you possibly know that?
When charging for a product or service you provide, don’t price yourself in terms of how much time it took or what you think your audience will be willing to pay for it.
Price it by the experience it provides and by the extent of the problem it will solve for your customer – that is its true worth. So, if it will make big shifts in their lives, it deserves a high price tag.
This also applies to currencies such as love, energy, or time. Know the worth of each, protect it where necessary, and only share it when it is worth it!
Stop being modest.
There is a time and a place for modesty. But when it comes to your business, your dreams, or your success you can put modesty aside.
When you feel forced to play small because you do not want to be intimidating or you don’t want to make someone else feel bad you are not really living your most authentic life. No one should ever expect you to stay modest or diminish yourself, or your success on account of them.
If they do make you feel that way, the problem is on their side, not yours.
Modesty in essence means you’re thinking too much about what others think of you and you act accordingly. But it is imperative that you honor your feelings first.
Stop with the modesty, stop playing small and start living your truest bigger life.
Pick what you focus on.
Sometimes it is better to put all your energy into one project at a time to see the biggest gains.
Having to continually shift your mind from one thing to another can actually end up adding more time to each task. Therefore, staying laser-focused on one task before moving on to the next can actually help you grow bigger, grow faster, and reach your goals quicker.
Practice the Law of Attraction and manifest the life you want.
Manifesting allows you to dream bigger and think larger. It is a safe space for you to truly understand your desires and what it is that you really want in life and in your business. Mix in some law of attraction and you have the killer combo because…
What you bring into your focus will grow.
This is the power of the law of attraction. It works not by some magical means but because you are focusing on the thing you want and whether consciously or subconsciously you will be more likely to work towards it. In essence, you will begin to attract it in.
Don’t let criticism crush you.
This is a tough one, that’s for sure.
Criticism can be crushing, even more so when it takes us by surprise, is unexpected, or comes from someone we love.
But as Aristotle perfectly summed it up:
“Criticism is something you can easily avoid by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing”
In other words, it does not matter what you do, someone will always criticize it, so you might as well just do your thing.
Practice the art of not giving a F*ck.
Develop a certain shield that protects you from the weight of others’ opinions.
People will always feel they have the recipe for the best life and will try to impose it on you. This can come from a good place, such as parents wanting their kids to be happy and successful. But the reasons behind it from close acquaintances can also be more malicious in nature, aimed at diminishing your potential.
All in all, the truth is that you have to live life according to you. Because that is the only way you can start to play big. It is the only way toward your biggest dreams.
So let others’ opinion flow around you rather than through you and keep practicing the art of not giving a f*ck.
Make your passion and purpose stronger than your fear.
Just allow yourself to daydream about what it would be like if you actually achieved what you set out. That you got everything you wished for in your life. What it would mean for you to have that and what emotions would it bring up for you?
It’s a simple practice that you can implement which will help to keep your focus on passion and purpose and to take your focus off fear.
Double down on your strengths.
Find what you’re good at and practice the hell out of it, then figure out what you’re not good at and avoid it at all costs.
We all have those things that we are just good at, that come to us with ease and do not feel like tedious work. Utilizing them as much as you can in your life is what will help you reach success.
If you need some statistics to convince you of this here you go:
People who know and use their strengths are:
- 6X more likely to be engaged at work
- 7.8% more productive
- 3X more likely to have an excellent quality of life
- 6X more likely to do what they do best every day
Don’t let your past experiences define your future.
Don’t let your past experiences define your future, ever. Your past has no weight on what your future holds.
The negative experiences tend to have the greatest hold on us – understandably so but also unnecessarily so. If something did not go how you planned in the past, it does not mean the same will happen again. You can learn from past experiences and hold those lessons close to you, but don’t let them crush you.
Never allow those bad moments to prevent you from living big because trust me, there is nothing worse than living with regret in life. You owe it to yourself to give yourself every opportunity to succeed, no matter how impossible it feels.
You never know.
Use this helpful trick.
This a simple technique which will completely shift your mindset and hopefully fill you with inspiration and empowerment. Ask yourself the following questions and either write down the answers or just take a moment to think them through…
What does it cost us to play small?
And what does it cost others for us to play small?
On a Final Note:
Here is a summary of all the points above…put them into action and watch major transformations happen in your life.
- Stop waiting for the right time.
- Use your mind as a tool.
- Get out of that comfort zone.
- Avoid the excuses.
- Don’t be afraid to make large leaps.
- Don’t underestimate your value.
- Charge by the value you provide.
- Stop being modest.
- Pick what you focus on.
- Practice the Law of Attraction and Manifest the life you want.
- Don’t let criticism crush you.
- Practice the art of not giving a F*ck.
- Make your passion and purpose stronger than your fear.
- Double down on your strengths.
- Don’t let your past experiences define your future.
- Use this helpful trick.
Your insights help so many others in our tribe. Thank you so much for being so generous in your comments.