How to stop making excuses and go after your dream

Excuses, excuses, excuses – we all make them! But how to stop making excuses and start creating the life you LOVE!

There will be plenty of reasons that your mind can come up with to justify to yourself why it is not the right time, or it cannot work for you, or why you are not the right person, or [insert] whatever you want to tell yourself.

When you come up with an excuse for not moving forward with your goals you often feel that mixed feeling of relief and that nagging feeling that you have just deceived yourself.

The relief comes because you do not have to go along and do the thing that most likely scares you. And the nagging feeling is there because deep down you know this is your dream and you have just done a self-sabotage number on yourself.

If you relate to any of this, I get you and I’ve got you.

Many things could get in the way of your DREAMS that you cannot control. But you cannot allow that thing to BE YOU! You are in control of yourself!

So let’s jump in and find out why we are so inclined to make excuses and sabotage our dreams and more importantly let’s find out how to stop making excuses and start creating the life you LOVE!

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The MOST COMMON excuses you might be making.

Every single person will have their own experience and therefore their own excuse or set of excuses that might be holding them back.

Here is a list of some of the most common ones but they are by far not the most extensive list. However, viewing them might help you identify your own because you will begin to see the self-deprivation thinking that comes with them.

You might begin to see these patterns of thinking as what they really are – EXCUSES.

The TRUE reasons why you make excuses.

Identifying your own excuses is a good place to start but of equal importance is the need to identify the CORE REASON behind the excuse.

Because deep down you probably know that when you say there is no time, there is in fact time. When you say you lack the skill, deep down you know that you do have them, and you can develop them. If you say it’s too risky, it’s probably riskier not to go after your dreams at all.

In fact, the REAL REASONS can probably be broken down into these 5 CORE BELIEFS!

5 CORE REASONS YOU MAKE EXCUSES

Self- doubt

Self-doubt usually comes from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. For some reason, you don’t feel skilled or knowledgeable enough to be able to go after what you want. Some experience in the past has made you doubt yourself. When in fact, anyone can do anything they want, through consistency and hard work and by not giving up.

Fear, usually of failing

Fear of failing rarely has anything to do with us. In most cases we are not afraid of not getting something wrong, we are afraid of what others will think and their judgment. The bitterness you feel when you fail is not pleasant and no one wants to experience it. But is it worth giving up your dreams for?  Knowing that deep down you are doing it only to avoid the judgment of other people? Usually, the people who are not worth giving up your dreams for?

Familiarity and comfort zones

There is comfort in familiarity, that’s for sure. But if you allow yourself to stay within it you will never have the chance to learn new things and truly experience your full potential. Comfort zones may seem like they are protecting you, but they are harming you. When you don’t step outside your comfort zones, you stop making progress and your confidence in yourself will start to plummet.

Uncertainty

It is scary, having to do something without the GUARANTEE that it will work or where it will take you. If you feel that, then you are very much like every other person on the planet. We like certainty because it gives us a sense of safety. Having a plan, and getting all your ducks in a row is ideal. But it’s an illusion, it’s not life. You have no way of knowing what the future holds, that’s scary but it can also be wonderful. It means the rest of your life has not been written or set in stone and you can still adjust where you want them.

Lack of purpose or passion

To move forward with your dream, you do need that purpose and passion. It is what will give you the momentum and motivation to get the necessary sh** done! You must either love what you do or have a strong desire for what that thing will bring you. And it has to be stronger than anything else. Without it you will not make the effort to show up every day and you will not show up with the right energy. Both these things are the keys to success.

How to stop making excuses and start creating the life you love?

Don’t let life get in the way of life!

The thing is – excuses will always pop up. Even when you work through all your LIMITING BELIEFS and all your CORE WOUNDS that might be holding you back – LIFE will get in the way of LIFE. Sometimes, no matter if others think your excuses are wrong or not real, they might feel very real to you.

For that reason, even if you have worked through the CORE BELIEFS the most effective way not to give in to your excuses, is to work DESPITE OF THEM.

You have the choice to either give into them or work alongside them.

Here are the top tips that will help you in doing just that…

Shift your perspective.

This always seems like a too obvious one to write but sometimes we need that gentle reminder that the mind is a powerful thing. What you feed it, in words and thoughts, will become its reality.

This is why shifting your inner dialogue into a positive one can be such a powerful tactic.

Identifying that the reasons you are coming up with are nothing more than excuses is the first step. It shifts your mind from self-denial to action mode. When you face the reality, you stop justifying the excuses. You can no longer hide behind them – you know you have to take action.

Second, you can work through any limiting beliefs or anything else which is holding you back.

 If it is purely internal, you can change the inner dialogue to a positive one. Remove “can’t” from your vocabulary and change it to “How can I”.

 If it is your external world and your obligations, make an action plan of how you can balance them and find ways they can work alongside each other.

Truly shifting your mindset mean going from “I don’t have the time, so I cannot do it” TO “ I have no time so I must do it to create more time in the future”

Look at the bigger picture.

Find your purpose.

A lack of true purpose is one of the 5 core reasons why we make excuses.

Finding that purpose or passion will help you overcome any limitations you might be placing on yourself.

So how do you find it?

I seriously recommend vision boards! They help us to get so freaking clear on what I want out of life. Because they are so visual, they help you see what is on the other side of your excuses. It’s not just words on paper. The vision is there for you to see – it’s like looking into your future if you just dare to take the step.

I cannot recommend Canva Pro enough when it comes to making vision boards – there is a Free Canva account that you can use, and it does the job for starts but you do miss out on some of the amazing features that can truly elevate your vision boards. I took the plunge and signed up because it’s so affordable, and I have not looked back.

Get over the fear of failure.

People do not fear failure – they fear judgment from others if they do fails.

It is not easy to push yourself to do something when you know that it might not work and there will be a whole lot of people who will be witnessing this.

You feel like they might not value you or think as highly of you – it hurts the EGO!

So how can you get over this fear?

Well, it comes down to the mind once again.

Firstly, remain yourself, that as you are worried about your own problems and failures you don’t have that much head space to think about other people. This is a two-way street. Believe me that no one is as focused on your life, as much as they are focused on theirs. People do not give us as much time of day to think about ourselves as we might think. That is comforting enough.

Secondly, try to stop seeing failure as something completely negative. Because it is not. Failure is the best way to learn and improve. It means you have the courage to go after what you want, and even if you don’t succeed the first time, you will be wiser for it the next time. It might serve you later in your life when the stakes are even higher.

If you are in need of a little more encouragement that failure is not all bad have a read:

• “14 Women who proved that failure is the pathway to success”

Practice the art of not caring what others think.

People care far more about themselves than they do about you and your life.

And even if someone does pass a judgment or makes a comment believe that it has far more to do with them than you. They are probably projecting their own insecurities on you and therefore it is not worth a care in the world.

The only true way of learning not to care about what others think is to build up that reliance. And how do you do that? By putting yourself in situations, slowly over time, in which you might be judged. With each time it will get easier and each time that excuse of “what will others think” will start to disappear from your mind.

You might also like:

• “How to stop caring about what others think?”

Surround yourself with supportive people.

Ok, I think at the very core it is vital that you can provide yourself with everything you want. Financially, emotionally, and spiritually what not…

But having the right crowd by your side cannot hurt. The problem is when that crowd contains people who might be toxic. It’s the people who deep down do not have your best interest at heart. Whether due to envy, jealousy, their own insecurities, admiration, or false beliefs – they can be detrimental to your success.

Having the right partner and friends and family members to support you can be vital. And trust me that if you are important to them, your happiness and therefore your goals and ambitions will be too. They won’t fill you with doubt but will encourage you. They will not hold you back but will push you forward and accommodate space in their life for your dreams.

With the right people, you won’t have to use lack of time as an excuse.

Make sure your goals are in alignment with you.

When your visions and goals are not aligned with who you are, you will most likely procrastinate.

In a way you are forcing yourself to do something you do not feel is right for you or to show up as someone you are not. You have to put on a façade and doing that on a daily basis will burn you out.

When you find that alignment between who you are at the core and what you do, everything becomes effortless. It won’t always be easy, but it won’t feel like a grind either.

When you find that kind of alignment you will not feel the need to make excuses.

So show up as your authentic self and find that goals r way of achieving your goal in a way that you enjoy so that it is sustainable for you long-term.

You might enjoy reading my blog post:

• “Importance of authenticity in business for success?”

Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

Growth is uncomfortable and rightly so. When you grow through the difficult times rather than get crushed by them the foundation you build will serve you forever. You will build the kind of strength and resilience that will serve you for life.

There are so many benefits to going through those difficult times. But you have to find that initial glimmer of courage to step into the uncomfortable, despite any inertia you might be feeling.

When you do, each next step will become easier, and you’ll be less likely to use one of your excuses. The small steps will build up and suddenly you have made it.

I have a whole blog post on this which you might also enjoy:

• “How to get comfortable being uncomfortable?”

Don’t compare yourself to others.

Do not do it! Ever!

You are you. And you are unique! There is literally no one else like you on this planet and that is YOUR POWER.

When you start comparing yourself to others, it is usually in a negative light. You focus on and highlight all the positive traits that you maybe lack. In doing so you shift away from focusing on all the positive traits you have and all the negative traits they have.

Comparing can halt your progress because if you see others performing better you may be more likely to give up. When you compare yourself, you are tapping into a scarcity mindset i.e., but “she does it so well so I will never be as successful”.

Believe me, there is plenty of space for everyone and plenty of success to go around for each and every one of you.

So, shift your mindset to that of abundance and stop making excuses about why you should not be going after your dreams.

Find peace in uncertainty.

Not knowing where you are heading can be a scary thought.

I think in your society at the moment, more than ever, there is this need to have your ducks in a row. Any diversion from the path we have outlined for ourselves or the timeline we have set, and we literally go into panic mode or self-sabotage mode.

There is also this herd mentality, if one person in your life is on one timeline it’s like you also have to match that because otherwise, you will fall behind and never catch up.

All I will say is RELAX!

Find beauty in the uncertainty of life. You cannot plan everything and the more you plan the more disappointed you will be in life. It’s good to have goals and visions but attaching too much of your happiness to that plan will leave you miserable because life might have a completely different story for you.

There is a certain peace in knowing that your happiest moments have not yet happened, that they will take you completely by surprise. It’s moving to know that you have not yet met every single person who will make a positive impact on your life.

That’s the other side of the uncertainty coin and it can be wonderful.

When you start to look at uncertainty this way, you will find it easier to move forward without making the excuses that hold you back.

Stop blaming others. take responsibility for yourself.

An external locus of control can be a dream killer.

What do we mean by an external locus of control?

Well your locus of control is in other words, a person’s perceptions about the underlying main cause of events in his/her life.

It can be internal or external.

Those with an internal locus of control believe they are responsible for their success as well as their failures.

Those with external locus of control blame external factors for their mishaps but also for their success.

As you can see there is a great deal of power in having an internal locus of control. That’s because it puts YOU IN CONTROL of your life. It is far easier to control how you act or respond than to try and change everyone else around you.

When you learn to stop blaming others and take responsibility you will not allow excuses to hold you back – you gear into taking action mode.

On A Final Note.

Now you know how to stop making excuses and start living your life.

Quick summary: How to stop making excuses?

1. Shift your perspective.
2. Find your purpose.
3. Get over the fear of failure.
4. Practice the art of not caring what others think
5. Surround yourself with supportive people.
6. Make sure your goals are in alignment with you.
7. Get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
8. Don’t compare yourself to others.
9. Find peace in uncertainty.
10. Stop blaming others. take responsibility for yourself.