How to get comfortable being uncomfortable? And why this is essential for you to succeed…especially in business.
This is the topic I wanted to cover in today’s blog post because there is no doubt that success requires overcoming many mental blocks.
Everyone has mind blocks, and everyone has insecurities. There will be things you are amazing at and there are things that you still figuring out and learning. However, too often when something is challenging or when you might not be great at something just yet, you will feel the urge to give up on it.
Why?
Because of that uncomfortable feeling that comes with it. The one that makes you feel like you are failing, or you suck at this thing. And to make this uncomfortable feeling go away YOU GIVE UP!
The worst part of this is that if you had just had the tools to get past your mind block and faced this uncomfortable feeling head-on, well your success might have been just around the corner.
So, what is the solution?
Learning how to get comfortable being uncomfortable…
If you read on and adapt these strategies, I can guarantee that you will be able to overcome the need to drop what you are working towards just because it is uncomfortable. Instead, you will have the tools to welcome this feeling, stick with your goals, and get excited at the growth that will happen as a result…
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How to get comfortable being uncomfortable?
#1 Know that being uncomfortable is normal.
When we are uncomfortable, we tend to get flooded with lots of negative emotions such as self-doubt, fear, sadness, anxiety and this can make you feel like something is wrong and that being uncomfortable means something is wrong with you.
That is not the case.
Believe me that everyone gets uncomfortable in one situation or another. So, remember that this feeling is completely normal. You are pushing past your boundaries and comfort zone and most likely doing something that will help you grow.
#2 Reframe discomfort into something positive.
Discomfort does not have to be all negative. If you allow yourself to get into the spiral of thinking that discomfort is something bad, then you will be completely overwhelmed by it.
If on the other hand, you do a little mindset shifting magic and reframe fear into an opportunity for self-growth, anxiety into excitement, and self-doubt into fake it tills you make it confident, you will be able to tackle all the negative emotions head-on. So chin up high – you’ve got this.
#3 Start before you are ready.
The cold hard truth is that if you have a big, overwhelmingly nerve-wracking task ahead of you will never feel fully ready.
Public speaking, for example, you might have gone on stage in front of a grand audience 20 times, but you will still feel nervous. Yes, it will get easier over time but there will still be some level of discomfort there. So, all you can do is take the leap and JUST GO FOR IT!
The key here is that with time, anything that you practice will get easier. The people who do look comfortable public speaking or in front of the camera are the ones who took that initial step even when they did not feel ready. That initial experience provided them with the growth they needed to improve for next time and feel a little less discomfort.
#4 Do not quit.
Quitting when something is uncomfortable is a bad habit to get into. There are many ways to deal with uncomfortable situations but quitting when things get tough should never be part of your strategy. There is no opportunity for growth if you never push past those uncomfortable feelings. You will never go to the places you belong or achieve the dreams you have envisioned for yourself.
So never quit – no matter how hard it seems.
Because staying stuck in the same place and not achieving your goals will be far worse in the end!
#5 Prepare.
A good way of dealing with uncomfortable situations and tasks is to PREPARE!
The way you prepare will largely depend on the situation but in general, I would say
- Do your research
- Practice
- Seek guidance from others [who have done it successfully]
#6 Break down the challenge and start small.
Any major task can feel overwhelming, and this can often make you feel like procrastinating – totally normal and we’ve all been there.
You can massively help yourself by simply breaking down the task into smaller more manageable chunks. Rather than thinking of the task as a whole think of each chunk as a task itself. Schedule those chunks rather than the whole tasks and ideally have some time in between each small chunk.
Make them as small as you need to stay motivated. If you think you can only work on something for half an hour then stick to that time frame.
Trust me that ticking things off, however small, will keep you super motivating.
#7 Reward yourself for each step.
Having some sort of incentive to complete the task can be a huge motivational factor.
After diving into the uncomfortable, stepping outside your comfort zone, Bossing Up, and experiencing the growing pains of pushing past your own self-doubts you will likely feel drained. So make sure you plan something nice for yourself afterward. It could be as simple as staying home, getting takeout, and binging your fave Nextflix show. Or maybe you can go for dinner or plan a trip away with a friend. You know best what recharges you.
Having this set and planned will keep up your momentum.
#8 Let go of perfectionism.
Perfectionism, more often than not, is a sign of low self-esteem. Now we all feel underconfident in one thing or another, just because you have low-self esteem in one area of your life, it does not mean you have low self-esteem overall. However, it might be time to look inward and try and figure out why you feel a bit low about this particular task and why you are striving to be or make it perfect.
Getting to the bottom of this will allow you to figure out the real reason behind it allowing you to tackle it head-on.
Next, remember to be kind to yourself and remind yourself that the only person putting so much pressure on you is YOU. No one expects you to be perfect and remember that sometimes we are our own worst critics, when in fact we shine to those around us.
#9 Measure your progress.
This is a great way to keep up your motivation.
Sometimes it is difficult to get out of your own head and look at things as an outsider looking in. By taking a moment to record your progress you will have the evidence you need to see how much progress you are making or how much you are improving. Sometimes it is a great way to identify what went well and what specific thing you can improve on to help you along the way.
That is a sure way to give you the confidence kick you.
#10 Journal your thoughts.
Out on paper means out of mind. People often underestimate the value of journaling but having an outlet for your thought can do wonders to calm your mind and get you back on track.
Do not be afraid to pick up that pen and paper or invest in a journal.
Write down what makes you uncomfortable and why.
#11 Challenge your thoughts and old beliefs.
Know that your thoughts and feelings are not facts.
They are so subconscious, and they come out of nowhere, and at times that can make you believe that if they are flowing through your mind they must be true.
This is not the case at all.
Many of your thought and feelings are filtered through your past experiences that have nothing to do with who you are today and what you are doing today.
It is vital to make that distinction and you can achieve that by challenging your thought.
What is the evidence for and what is the evidence against them? You might surprise yourself at how little there is in the evidence for the column ; ).
#12 Stop relying on external validation.
Looking outside of yourself for validation is the perfect way to destroy your confidence!
External validation, the type where you solely rely on others’ opinions of you to shape your self-worth – well it is extremely fleeting.
Whatever you do in life and however you do it, there will always be someone who disagrees or does not like what you do or who you are. Most often when that is the case it is nothing to do with you, but everything to do with them.
Your self-worth and your confidence have to come from within, it has to come from you. So if you are struggling with this then it might be worth spending a bit of time to do some inner work.
- Write down what you love about yourself
- Write down your 3 biggest accomplishments
- Write down when you did something for someone that they appreciated.
- Write down three ways you overcame your struggles in the past.
- Write three skills you already have to help you through the uncomfortable.
After this exercise writes a coupe of affirmations or mantras that you will say to yourself every morning – and do not stop until you actually believe it. If you need some inspiration grab this freebie with affirmations for all occasions.
#13 Stop comparing yourself to others.
There is no one else like you – and that is the BEAUTY OF YOU!
By focusing so much on what others have that we lack we completely disregard the amazing qualities that you have. And when faced with an uncomfortable task, comparing yourself can be paralyzing.
Yes there will always be someone who is better than you at something but equally, you have your own qualities and skills that you excel at, you just gotta start recognizing them and giving yourself credit.
Stop comparing yourself to others and only compare yourself to the past you! Admire the progress.
#14 Push yourself.
YOU JUST GOTTA DO IT!
Sometimes despite doing all of the above you will still be met with that feeling of dread when you’re uncomfortable. The only thing I can say is you need to push through it.
I think the best advice I can give here is for you to ask yourself what you would regret the most: staying comfortable but missing out on an amazing opportunity OR being uncomfortable and actually gaining something?
#15 Keep your goal in mind.
When things get uncomfortable always remember the end goal and remember your why! Let it fill you up because if you completely embrace it and believe in it, then no matter how uncomfortable the journey there maybe you will find the power to push through it. Keep the end goal in mind.
#16 Know that doing the uncomfortable will skyrocket your confidence.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone, embracing the uncomfortable, and doing something new will skyrocket your confidence because you will realize that you are capable of taking on challenges.
Plus, doing the challenging things in life is the only way to improve on them, the experience you gain will be invaluable.
And you never know, it might pay off next time you face a similar challenge or uncomfortable situation when the stakes are ever higher. You’ll be glad you have this experience to draw from.
Being uncomfortable: Quotes to keep you motivated.
#1 The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. —Martin Luther King, Jr.
#2 The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers — M. Scott Peck
#3 Don’t ever be impressed with goal setting; be impressed with goal getting. Reaching new goals and moving to a higher level of performance always requires change, and change feels awkward. But take comfort in the knowledge that if a change doesn’t feel uncomfortable, then it’s probably not really a change — John C. Maxwell
#4 We need to cultivate the courage to be uncomfortable and to teach the people around us how to accept discomfort as a part of growth.” ― Brené Brown
#5 The opposite of certainty in life is called freedom. If you want to be free, you must be willing to advance your life into the uncertain. ― Richie Norton
#6 Growth isn’t always comfortable, sometimes it requires you to make changes you never thought of. ― Hopal Green
#7 Uncomfortable doesn’t mean bad, uncomfortable simply means you’re doing something you haven’t done before.—Joe Vitale
#8 Do one thing every day that scares you. Those small things that make us uncomfortable help us build the courage to do the work we do.– Eleanor Roosevelt
#9 Choosing to avoid uncomfortable feelings offers immediate short-term relief, but avoidance can lead to long-term consequences. –Amy Morin
#10 There are a lot of things that are uncomfortable and hard to do, and the longer you put off those things, the harder they get.—Dave Morin
On A Final Note
Overview: How to get comfortable with the uncomfortable?
- Know that being uncomfortable is normal.
- Reframe discomfort into something positive.
- Start before you are ready.
- Do not quit.
- Break down the challenge and start small.
- Reward yourself for each step
- Let go of perfectionism.
- Measure your progress.
- Journal your thoughts.
- Challenge your thoughts and old beliefs.
- Stop relying on external validation.
- Stop comparing yourself to others.
- Push yourself.
- Keep your goal in mind.
- Know that doing the uncomfortable will skyrocket your confidence