Work-life balance. It seems like such a hot topic right now, I guess because many of us are increasingly feeling unbalanced in our lives. Today’s world is undoubtedly putting more pressure on us and many more of us are starting to experience burnout.
As a young professional finding a balance between personal life and work can be particularly difficult. You are still finding your way. I truly believe that it is easy to fall into bad habits early on in your career. Over time they can lead you to struggle to balance your personal life and interests with your work life. To avoid this, you need the right knowledge, wisdom, and clarity about what is most important to you.
This is why I wanted to share this post with you now. I hope by reading this you will be better equipped with the knowledge of how to have a fulfilling life that feels well balanced to YOU!
What is Work-Life Balance?
Work-life balance is often defined as the amount of time you spend doing your job compared with the amount of time you spend with your family and doing things you enjoy.
When there is a balance, you can assign the necessary time and energy to all areas of your life in a way that brings you happiness, calm, and a feeling of contempt.
There is no right amount of time to assign to each area of your life. Everyone will have different priorities in life. It will vary between each person but most importantly it must be right for you.
So how do you go about it? How do you find this work-life balance and happiness and feeling of peace in your life? How do you achieve it when living in a world which is rigged against work-life balance?
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How to be happy and have a work-life balance?
THE MOST IMPORTANT STEP - Get clear on what it means to you.
This is the most important thing you can do! Try not to fall into the trap of letting others define what is important. Everyone has some idea about what work-life balance is for them, but it is unique for everyone. Not one or the other is better, it is a very personal thing. It will often shift with time and as your life changes.
You know yourself better than anyone else. Sometimes you just need to take the time out to do a little soul searching. I recommend writing it down in a notepad. It will help you gain clarity. What would your perfect day, week, month, a year, look like. In most cases, it might not be completely achievable, but it will help you to realise where your priorities lie.
Focus on what brings you joy and happiness.
Make decisions based on what is important to you.
This should be easier once you have written down what it is that is important to you. When you are clear on this, you will be able to decide if a particular decision you are making is in line with those values. You know what serves you well so be brave and choose wisely where you put your time and energy.
There will be professions in which achieving this balance is more difficult. For example, being a doctor or surgeon, or becoming an investment banker. You need to decide what sacrifices you are willing to make, whether it is your free time or those particular career aspirations. No one can make that decision for you. It has to come from you. When you do this soul searching, know that when you do come to choose, you will be happy with that choice. It will be in line with who you are!
Accept that complete balance may not be possible.
Although in the title I mentioned work-life balance this idea is probably a bit of an illusion. In part, because it differs so much from one person to the next and it is difficult to define.
Thinking that these two need to be balanced can add a lot of stress. You want to do everything, so you pack in as many things into your schedule, only to realise you’re not able to cope with it all. You begin to realise that it is not possible to always dedicate the time you want to your personal life and work-life.
This is why the next tip is so vital…
Balance a week, a month, a year… not one day!
It is likely that when you think of work-life balance you typically think of achieving this in a day or a week. However, know that this does not have to be the case. You can extend the time frame on finding balance to a month or even a year.
This takes some pressure and stresses off trying to fit everything in. You might be too busy this weekend to dedicate all your time to your kids, but you might be able to give them all your attention the following weekend.
If you have lots of family events planned, then maybe you can delay taking that course by an extra month. Trying to achieve everything at once is the opposite of balance.
In many cases taking on too much is exactly what leads us to feel unbalanced. If all the areas of your life that are important to you receive the attention you want them to in the space of a month or year, then your life is most likely well balanced.
Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
We live in a very fast-paced world. It is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to achieve everything you set out to achieve as quickly as possible. But is this necessary?
Understand why you feel the need to rush. Getting to the core of this will help you realised that you probably do not need to rush to get to the finish line. The reasons behind it are usually due to external measures of success, and at the very core are not always the right reasons. You might be comparing your life to someone else’s. Social media does not help in this as everyone constantly snaps the most perfect snippets of their lives to share with the world. Maybe you feel a little inadequate about where you are in comparison to your friends. Maybe you have FOMO or feel a little jealous.
They are normal feelings; we all feel them from time to time. However, they are not valid reasons to rush. It could lead you to make the wrong decisions which will not bring you happiness or balance long term. Remember that with that promotion comes a lot more work and responsibility. Do it when it is right for you! “Redefine what it means to be successful”. If you are happy then you are already more successful than a lot of people in the world.
Consider your workplace and how you feel.
It is easy to ignore the effect that stress and anxiety have on us. Stress and anxiety will make it feel as if you are carrying a heavy weight on your shoulders. It is difficult to relax and unwind in such a state.
In some cases, people dread going to work not because they are tired, or their life doesn’t have the potential for balance. It is rather because they do not like their workplace. This could be for many reasons. Maybe there is an unpleasant colleague or a mean boss, maybe you feel you do not fit in or are not appreciated enough. Whatever the reason, having to go in every day can chip away at your soul.
After work you might lack patience or feel too down to talk with your partner or spend time with kids. You are too tired or overwhelmed to exercise. Your confidence starts to suffer and you avoid new experiences. There may be lots of potentials to have a balance between life and work but if you hate your job this constant state of anxiety will make it difficult for you to achieve.
It is essential to spend a bit of time to identify if this is the case. If it is, maybe it is time to consider if you would be happier in a different job. However, just identifying the root cause will help you face the problem head-on and find targeted solutions to improve how you feel.
Prioritise.
So… you have identified what is most important to you, now is the time to prioritise. This will likely fluctuate and change over time. It might be worth doing this on a daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly basis. Write it down if you want to so you can look back on it often and allow yourself to adjust if necessary.
Set boundaries and learn to say NO!
Your time is precious so spend it wisely. Get comfortable with saying no to people, to events, or extra work. Be clear on your limits and boundaries, and know you are well within your right to have them. It’ll make it easier for you to stick to them.
Let go of perfectionism.
We often fall into a trap of wanting every aspect of our life to be perfect. For every task to be completed without fault. This is not possible. Maybe it is possible to achieve near-perfectionism if we only focus all our time and energy on one area and one task. However, that’s not being balanced.
Let go of the idea that if something is not 100% it means you have somehow failed. This idea can lead us to spend unnecessary time on things that are ok the way they are. Make all you do cost-effective. If it costs too much time and that extra time will not bring a lot more benefits, it is not worth it.
Plan your day ahead of time.
Planning can set everything in balance. It allows you to decide on the tasks that are urgent and most important. I recommend using the Eisenhower Box for this setting things into 4 categories.
This is just an example, but you can optimise it to suit your particular schedule and a particular task. You don’t have to have it in a box format, you could turn each category into a list. It is simply to get you thinking of how you can prioritise your tasks so you can better prepare and plan.
For more planning tips check out my post on morning productivity.
To help you plan you can also check out this amazing planner that has all you need to get you organised.
Take breaks and switch off.
Take breaks during the day and when you do make sure you are not thinking about work. Try not to sit at your desk when you have lunch. Go to a nearby café or sit outside if the weather is nice. Just try to have a complete change of scenery to rest your mind. Avoid anything that might make you think about work. Maybe you can meditate or read your book or have lunch with a friend. It will help to reset you. You will feel more balanced when you take those moments for yourself.
If possible, plan to take longer periods off. If you have paid annual leave, try to schedule a longer chunk of time off at least once a year.
Recognise signs of burnout.
When you start to feel burned out, know that it is time to step back and re-evaluate things. Take some time off and relax. Speak to your doctor if you are struggling for significant periods. Once you start to feel better try to identify what caused this and put boundaries in place to try and prevent it from happening again.
Signs and symptoms of burnout:
- Anxiety and depression.
- Feeling irritable and easily agitated.
- Feeling of resentment towards work.
- Feeling tired and drained.
- Not enjoying activities you used to enjoy.
- Cyclical outlook on life.
- Procrastination.
- Feeling trapped and overwhelmed.
- Decreasing concentration.
- Sleep troubles.
- Physical symptoms such as headaches, fainting, dizziness.
- Feelings of disconnect, apathy, and hopelessness.
Consider changing your working pattern.
More and more workplaces are introducing flexible work patterns. It might be possible for you to work part-time or work from home at least on some of the days. Since the pandemic, hybrid working is becoming more common amongst employees. Maybe you can do your job from home too? As we are becoming more aware of the importance of maintaining balance and the impact of over-working on our mental health more employers may be willing to offer flexible work schedules that can fit around your life. If you feel it will be appropriate for your workplace you can speak to your boss about the options open to you.
On a final note…
I hope this post has given you lots to think about.
I truly believe that the most important step of finding work-life balance and feeling fulfilled in all areas of your life is finding out what is most important for you. Once you are clear on who you are and what brings you joy, it will be easier to make decisions that are in line with your core values. That is the ultimate step to achieving happiness because you are making every decision based on what is right for you. You are not pressured into decisions about your life from external sources. That is a very powerful thing to do!
Have an amazing week.
Natasza
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