I am a big advocate for investing time and energy in personal growth. Whether you are establishing your career, running a side-hustle, or building your entrepreneur empire. I truly believe the journey requires a huge amount of personal growth before success comes.
Why do most businesses fail…
When we hear that most businesses fail, we automatically think that the problem was the actual business, and we forget about the person running the show. You cannot connect with your audience if you are not connected with yourself. You cannot be authentic if you are not willing to face the real you and accept the good and the not-so-good in yourself. If you are in it for the money or status you run the risk of making bad financial decisions that could hurt your business down the line. All these things can be avoided if you begin to look inward and allow yourself to grow as a person.
Why personal growth is key to career success…
This goes for your career too. If you are not willing to grow and continually push past the boundaries, then you may struggle to strive for everything you want Especially as women, we are faced with many more hurdles in our professional lives, and it takes a lot for us to push mentally past all these societal limitations placed on us. Being aware of these things and noticing the ways we limit ourselves is the first step to success. And it all starts with personal growth.
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What Does Personal Growth Mean?
Personal growth can mean very different things to different people. In essence personal growth is the process by which a person recognises in themselves an area that could be improved and takes conscious action to improve and develop so that they can reach their full potential.
The self-improvement could be in your skills, knowledge, personal qualities, life ambitions, and/or outlook. It has the power to enhance your quality of life and help you realise all your dreams and aspirations.
Personal Growth Model.
Before we go on to talk about the signs of self-growth, I wanted to discuss the actual process of self-growth. If you are reading the 15 signs below and find you are lacking one in any area of your life you can come back to this cycle and use it to identify where on your journey you are and plan the next stages. When thinking about the process of personal growth I like to think of it in terms of a cycle.
Think of personal growth as a cycle makes the task of growing as a person less overwhelming. Using this cycle can help you break things down into manageable steps. Also, because it is a cycle, it means that once you do succeed in one area you always go back to the beginning. This will allow you to reflect on yourself and ensure that you continually work on your self-improvement.
Personal Growth Cycle
Mindset:
Before you take any action and make any change in your life you have to be in the right mindset. You have to know what it is that you would like to change or where you want to be in your life. Then you have to know your why? Once you are clear on these you will begin to see a shift in your mind that will put you in action mode. It is no longer just a fleeting thought, it becomes your mission.
Goals:
It may not be possible to make a sudden overnight change in yourself or your life. After all, it’s called growth for a reason. Take time to break things down into more manageable steps and set these as goals rather than simply writing down the end goal.
Planning:
So you are clear on your goals and the small steps you can take to get there. Now it is time to put into place a plan on how you can achieve these. What do you need to get there? What will it take? How quickly do you want to achieve each step? What berries might you face? How could you overcome them?
Action:
Take the leap and begin.
Results:
Watch how things unravel and change…
Readjust:
Reflect and readjust where necessary.
15 Sign of Personal Growth You Should Embrace
Here are the 15 signs of personal growth. If you cannot account for some of these then maybe it is time to push yourself and step further into the uncomfortable.
#1 You feel positively uncomfortable.
Any change is uncomfortable but especially changes within yourself. After all, you are stepping out of your comfort zone and in a way into the unknown – an unknown version of you. So, if you are in the process of growth, you will feel a bit on edge, a bit anxious. But the important distinction is that these feelings will be intertwined with feelings of excitement and happiness. That is normal and it is part of the process.
#2 You know who you are.
It is scary to face your true self. You would be surprised how many people avoid it at all costs. Especially now in the world of social media, it is very easy to create an illusion of oneself or an online persona that might not fully reflect the real person. Once you take that deep dive and see yourself for who you are, you are on your way to some serious personal growth. When you know who you are plus, you do not pretend to be anybody else you can begin to fully accept yourself.
This can be extremely powerful because you take back control from other people’s opinions and judgments of you. The moment you accept yourself others will accept you too.
#3 You stop attacking people on your own insecurities.
Can you think of a time where someone said something completely innocently but for some reason, it triggered you? When we carry a lot of unprocessed experiences and wounds within us, it can set us up to be quite reactive to the words and actions of other people. Even when their intentions are good.
When you go grow as a person you understand how your past experiences affect your experiences in the present day. This allows you to distinguish when people are genuinely attacking you from when your own filters cloud your perception. It means that you do not allow your insecurities to affect your perception of the world around you. This can help you be more at peace.
#4 You stop comparing yourself to others.
When you grow as a person in any area of your life you begin to feel very comfortable in your own skin. It means you are less likely to focus on other people and what they are doing, and you begin to focus on yourself. You stop that comparison game.
To be perfectly honest I truly believe there are in fact two kinds of comparisons we can make.
#1 The closed mindset comparison
#2 The open mindset comparison
The first one is the one that will paralyse you. That’s when you look at another person and begin to feel worse about yourself as you focus on what it is that is lacking in you. This kind of comparison leads to a closed mindset. You are unlikely to take action and make any positive change. You will just be left feeling bad about yourself.
On the other hand, the second type of comparison leads to growth. This kind of comparison leads to you feeling inspired by what the other person has and this gives you the motivation to take the necessary steps to also achieve it. You are not paralysed but rather action-driven. You are open to improvement.
#5 You stop arguing for the sake of ‘being right’.
If you have a growth mindset you are more likely to listen to others because you understand that you can in fact learn a lot from other people. You care less about being right and more about what new knowledge or perspective you can gain. This is often more likely to benefit your future self than winning that argument in the heat of the moment.
#6 You stop giving your opinion on everything.
Another sign of personal growth is if you no longer feel like you need to give your opinions on just about anything and everything, especially other people’s lives. Equally, you stopped accepting other people’s opinions about your own life.
You also realise that in some cases it is better to just let things go as everyone is entitled to their own viewpoints. Just because they are different from yours does not mean either one is right or wrong. They’re just different and you feel comfortable accepting it and leaving it at that.
#7 You’re better able to control your emotions.
Morgan Freeman once said – Self-control is strength. Calmness is mastery. You have to get to a point where your mood doesn’t shift based on the insignificant actions of someone else. Don’t allow others to control the direction of your life. Don’t allow your emotions to overpower your intelligence.
This quote is probably one of my favourite ones because it carries such an important message. The moment you stop having control over your emotions, you give power to people to control you’re your mood and feelings. I think it is worth remembering that everyone is always going through something. Their actions may reflect that, whether in a good or bad way. Have you ever been in a situation when someone raises their voice for no reason? How did that affect the rest of your day? You probably felt angry and frustrated as you thought about it. But in reality, it was nothing to do with you, rather their own personal struggles.
#8 You no longer need validation.
Another sign of personal growth is when you stop needing external validation. Your confidence comes solely from within. Too often people rely on other people’s opinions and feedback to form their self-worth. This is a very fragile source of self-worth and typically is not long-lasting. It is only a matter of time when someone criticises you or judges you and when this happens your whole perception of yourself will crumble down. The true definition of your confidence or your self-worth is when it comes from within you. You generate it and other peoples’ opinions of you are not likely to shake it.
#9 You’re comfortable being alone.
You want to be surrounded by people, but you do not NEED to be surrounded by other people to feel whole. It means that you would rather be alone than around people who drain your energy. You know that it is simply not worth it and therefore you are careful who you let into your life. Plus you are so comfortable with who you are that you enjoy your own company and you are well rounded that there is plenty you can do to occupy your free time.
#10 You stop trying to impress others.
People who experience self-growth often let go of the idea of impressing others. When you gain that sort of distance from yourself and your life, you stop caring what others think of you. And this can be mighty liberating. Your choices are no longer determined by what others will think but rather what is right for you and your choice will not be filtered through other people’s thoughts and opinions. I truly believe that living your life this way is the only way to be happy. The pretending is what causes most of us anxiety.
#11 You stop blaming.
The ability to take responsibility for your actions is a big sign of self-growth. It means you have the courage to reflect on yourself and face your imperfections or mistakes. That is not an instinctively easy thing to do but it is a necessary part of self-growth. When you stop blaming others, first of all, you are accepting yourself as you are. Second of all, you are opening the opportunity to learn from the experiences.
#12 You set the right boundaries.
Setting boundaries with people can be a tricky skill especially if this is not something that comes instinctively to you. However, it is a skill, and you can learn how to assertively express your feelings and needs so that you can protect yourself.
Assertiveness is often mistaken with arrogance. However, there is an important difference. You see arrogant people only care about their benefit in a given situation – e.g. “I do not have time to listen to your problems”. On the other hand, people who assertively set boundaries give a win-win situation – e.g. “I am busy at the moment but I would be happy to meet you for coffee later on to so we can talk about what is bother you”.
Can you see the difference?
This is something I learned from the amazing book “Confidence & Assertive Skills for Women – How to become a strong independent, confident woman in the modern world by Angelina Williams”.
Setting boundaries is important for your well-being. When you learn to do this effectively that is a definite sign that you have grown as a person.
#13 You continually reflect.
You cannot grow if you do not know what it is that you should be growing into. A sign of self-development is the ability to reflect on yourself. Reflection allows you to measure where you are now and compare this to your past self. Was there improvement? What is your life changed for better or worse? Once you begin asking yourself these questions you can identify areas of improvement and readjust so that you are on track to becoming who you want to be and living the life you want.
#14 You have set goals and ambitions.
Having a well-defined pathway both short-term and long-term is a huge marker of self-growth. Not only have you identified who you are and what you want from life, but you are also ready to take action. Yes, setting goals is often one of the first steps towards success. Dreaming big and being ambitious means, you believe in these dreams, and you feel you can succeed.
#15 You no longer tolerate toxicity.
Toxicity – there is simply no room for it in your life. It is simply not worth it. You want to protect your sense of self, your respect, your boundaries, and your energy. You built your sense of self-worth, and you can identify toxicity and cut it out at the first sign. This demonstrates self-growth because you have acquired self-respect and once you respect yourself you stop letting others disrespect you.
On a final note.
To summarise the 15 signs of self-growth:
- You feel positively uncomfortable.
- You know who you are.
- You stop attacking people on your own insecurities.
- You stop comparing yourself to others.
- You stop arguing for the sake of ‘being right’.
- You stop giving your opinion on everything.
- You’re better able to control your emotions.
- You no longer need validation.
- You’re comfortable being alone.
- You stop trying to impress others.
- You stop blaming.
- You set the right boundaries.
- You continually reflect.
- You have set goals and ambitions.
- You no longer tolerate toxicity.
Let me know in the comments below where you are on your journey of personal growth and if you found this helpful.
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