As side hustlers, female entrepreneurs, and boss babes building our own businesses, we often find ourselves seeking validation and approval from external sources such as social media likes, client feedback, or even the opinions of our friends and family.
While it’s natural to want to be acknowledged and valued by others, relying too heavily on external validation can lead to self-doubt, comparison, and a lack of self-esteem.
That’s why cultivating a strong sense of internal validation is essential for your success, well-being, and happiness.
In this blog post, I’ll share 15 actionable ways to build your internal validation and become your own biggest supporter.
Let’s dive in!
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What is internal validation vs external validation?
Do you find that you often seek validation from others? Does your self-esteem rely too much on other people’s opinions? If you have answered yes to this question, then it is time to tap into your own power and learn about how you can VALIDATE YOURSELF.
So, what exactly is the difference between external and internal validation?
External validation refers to seeking approval and recognition from others to confirm your self-worth or accomplishments. You rely on outside sources to feel good about yourself. Like when you post a selfie on Instagram and wait for the likes to roll in.
On the other hand, internal validation involves finding validation within yourself. This means recognizing your own accomplishments, trusting your own judgment, and being confident in your own abilities without relying on external sources to validate your self-worth.
Why is it bad to rely on external validation?
While seeking external validation is a common human behavior, relying on it too heavily can lead to a lack of confidence and a constant need for validation from others.
With external validation, your source of self-worth and confidence can be taken away from you as quickly as it is given. It is an unreliable source of self-worth as you cannot control what others think or do. Long-term this can be extremely exhausting and emotionally draining as you constantly worry about what everyone thinks.
In contrast, internal validation can lead to greater self-esteem, a stronger sense of self, and a greater ability to trust oneself and make decisions based on one’s own values and beliefs.
Why do people crave external validation?
There are a number of reasons why people may rely on external validation, I would say the top 3 are as follows:
- Social acceptance: Humans are social creatures, and we want to feel accepted and valued by others. Seeking external validation can help us feel like we belong to a group or community.
- Self-doubt: When we have doubts about our own abilities or worth, seeking validation from others can provide reassurance that we are doing well and that we are valued.
- Comparison: In a society that often values achievement and success, we may compare ourselves to others and seek validation to confirm that we are on the right path or that we are doing better than others.
At the very core of each one of these points is the internal shaky self-worth and lack of full self-acceptance. This is why the antidote to external validation is working on your self-love, self-esteem, and confidence in your abilities. That’s how you begin to shift to internal validation.
Why is internal validation essential for self-esteem?
By learning to validate yourself internally, you can build a stronger sense of self-esteem that isn’t based on the opinions of others.
This can be especially important for us entrepreneurs, who may face a lot of criticism or rejection in our work. By relying on internal validation, you can stay focused on your goals and maintain a strong sense of self-worth, even in the face of challenges.
Overall, internal validation is essential for self-esteem because it allows you to be more self-reliant, confident, and emotionally resilient, which can help you navigate the ups and downs of life with greater ease and grace.
15 ways to build internal validation.
Pump Yourself Up with Positive Affirmations
As a side hustler or entrepreneur, it’s important to start your day on the right foot. One way to do this is by using positive affirmations to pump yourself up and set the tone for the day.
Positive affirmations are simple statements that can help you shift your mindset from negative to positive and can be a powerful tool in building internal validation.
By focusing on positive affirmations, you can start to build a more positive self-image and boost your self-esteem. This can help you stay motivated and confident as you work towards your goals.
So, go ahead and pump yourself up – you deserve to feel confident, capable, and empowered!
Check out my blog post about affirmations for some more details and inspiration:
How to manifest your business dreams with these abundance affirmations.
100 growth mindset affirmations for success.
Take a social media Siesta and Detox from Likes
Social media can be an important tool for building your brand and connecting with customers. However, it can also be a major source of external validation, with likes and comments often serving as a measure of our success and worth.
Sometimes what can help is to take a break from social media and essentially have a social media detox from the constant need for likes and validation. Try it for a day or a weekend, and use that time to focus on other activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
During your social media detox, try to notice any feelings that come up around your absence from social media. Are you feeling anxious or stressed about missing out on something? Are you worried about how your absence will impact your brand or followers? Do you feel like you are missing a daily kick of confidence?
Take note of these feelings and consider how you can build internal validation to address them.
You might also consider setting boundaries around your social media use, such as limiting the amount of time you spend on it each day or avoiding it altogether during certain times, like first thing in the morning or right before bed.
Practice Mindfulness and Connect with Your Inner Self
It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. From managing your business to juggling your personal life, it can be hard to find time to slow down and connect with your inner self.
However, building internal validation starts with a strong connection to your inner self and a deep understanding of your own needs and values. One way to build this connection is through mindfulness practices, like meditation, yoga, or simply taking a few minutes each day to check in with yourself.
By practicing mindfulness, you can learn to tune out external distractions and connect more deeply with your thoughts, feelings, and desires. You can also start to cultivate a more compassionate and non-judgmental relationship with yourself, which is essential for building internal validation.
To get started with mindfulness, try incorporating a short meditation or yoga practice into your daily routine. You might also consider taking a mindful walk in nature, journaling about your thoughts and feelings, or simply taking a few deep breaths whenever you feel stressed or overwhelmed.
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Celebrate Your Wins and Successes
As a side hustler or entrepreneur, it’s easy to get caught up in the never-ending to-do list and forget to celebrate your wins and successes. However, taking time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments is essential for building internal validation and boosting your self-esteem.
When you achieve a goal or complete a project, take a moment to pause and reflect on your success.
Give yourself credit for your hard work and recognize the value that you’ve created. You might also consider treating yourself to a small reward or celebrating with friends and family.
Celebrating your wins and successes is not just about recognizing your achievements, but also about acknowledging the effort and dedication that went into reaching them.
By taking time to celebrate your successes, you can build a stronger sense of self-worth and confidence, which will help you stay motivated and focused as you work towards your future goals.
Feel All the Feels
It can be tempting to push aside negative emotions and pretend that everything is always positive and upbeat. However, it’s important to remember that emotions are a natural part of the human experience and that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or frustrated from time to time.
In fact, allowing yourself to feel all the feels can be an important part of building internal validation and self-esteem. By acknowledging and accepting your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, you can develop a deeper sense of self-awareness and self-acceptance.
So, the next time you’re feeling a difficult emotion, take a moment to sit with it and explore what it means for you. Journal about your feelings, talk to a trusted friend or mentor or simply allow yourself to experience the emotion without judgment or resistance.
Give Yourself the Love You Need and Deserve
You likely pour a lot of time and energy into building your business and serving your clients or customers. But it’s important to remember that you also deserve love, care, and attention.
One way to build internal validation and self-esteem is to practice self-love and self-compassion. This means treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and support that you would offer to a close friend or loved one.
Make a conscious effort to prioritize self-care and self-love in your daily routine.
Remember, giving yourself the love, you need and deserve is not a selfish act, but rather an essential part of building a strong foundation of self-esteem and confidence. When you show up as your best self, you are better equipped to serve your clients and customers, build a successful business, and live a fulfilling and happy life.
Ask for Opinions Less Often and Trust Your Gut
It’s natural to seek feedback and advice from others, especially when you’re starting a new side hustle or business. However, constantly relying on external validation and opinions can lead to self-doubt and confusion.
Instead of seeking approval from others, try trusting your own intuition and instincts. You know yourself and your business better than anyone else, so trust that you have the skills and knowledge to make informed decisions.
Of course, there may be times when seeking outside input is necessary. But rather than constantly asking for opinions, try to limit them to a few trusted individuals whose advice you value and respect.
Ultimately, learning to trust your gut and make decisions with confidence is a key part of building internal validation and self-esteem.
Voice Your Feelings Directly
It can be tempting to downplay or sugar-coat our feelings in order to avoid conflict or maintain peace. But bottling up our emotions and not expressing them directly can be detrimental to our mental health and self-esteem.
To build internal validation, it’s important to learn how to communicate our feelings honestly and assertively. This means expressing what we think and feel in a clear and direct manner, without apologizing or downplaying our emotions.
Of course, this can be easier said than done. It may take some practice to learn how to express yourself in this way, but it’s an essential skill for building self-esteem and healthy relationships.
Remember, you have the right to your feelings and opinions, and expressing them openly and directly can help you feel more confident and validated. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let your voice be heard!
Give Yourself the Validation You Seek
It’s easy to get caught up in seeking validation from external sources, such as friends, family, or colleagues. But relying solely on external validation can lead to feelings of insecurity and self-doubt.
To build internal validation, it’s important to learn how to give yourself the validation you seek. This means recognizing your own accomplishments and giving yourself credit for your hard work and achievements.
When you accomplish something, take a moment to celebrate and acknowledge your success. Give yourself a pat on the back and remind yourself of how far you’ve come.
Remember, you are your own best cheerleader. Don’t wait for someone else to validate your worth or accomplishments – give yourself the recognition you deserve!
Check Yourself and Recognize When You’re Being Self-Critical
One of the biggest obstacles to building internal validation is self-criticism. When we are constantly judging ourselves and being overly critical, it can be difficult to see our own worth and value.
To combat self-criticism, it’s important to check yourself and recognize when you’re being self-critical. Pay attention to your inner dialogue and notice when you’re being hard on yourself.
When you catch yourself being self-critical, try to reframe your thoughts. Instead of focusing on your flaws or mistakes, try to focus on your strengths and accomplishments.
Remember, nobody is perfect, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Give yourself grace and compassion and treat yourself the way you would treat a good friend.
Take Care of Your Inner Child
As we grow older and take on more responsibilities, it’s easy to lose touch with our inner child—the part of us that is playful, curious, and full of wonder. However, neglecting this part of yourselves can lead to feelings of emptiness and disconnection.
To build internal validation, it’s important to take care of your inner child. Take time to do things that bring you joy and allow you to connect with your playful side. This could be as simple as taking a dance class, playing with a pet, or coloring in an adult coloring book.
By taking care of your inner child, you can nurture a sense of joy and playfulness within yourself, which can help you build a stronger sense of internal validation.
Tune In to Your Needs
You might find that occasionally you get caught up in the hustle and grind of building a business. However, neglecting your own needs long-term can lead to burnout and feelings of disconnection from yourself.
It’s important to tune in to your needs and prioritize self-care. This may involve setting boundaries around your work schedule, making time for hobbies and interests outside of work, or simply taking time to rest and recharge.
To tune in to your needs, try checking in with yourself on a regular basis. Take a few minutes each day to reflect on how you’re feeling and what you need at that moment. This could be something as simple as a few deep breaths, a walk outside, or a cup of tea.
By prioritizing your own needs and taking care of yourself, you can build a stronger sense of internal validation and confidence in your ability to create the life and business you desire.
Learn to Silence Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can be a major obstacle to building internal validation. It’s easy to get caught up in self-doubt and criticism, especially when things aren’t going as planned in your business or side hustle.
To overcome negative self-talk, it’s important to first become aware of it. Notice when you’re engaging in self-criticism or negative self-talk, and try to identify the underlying beliefs or fears that are driving it.
Once you’ve identified negative self-talk, you can begin to challenge it. Ask yourself whether the beliefs or thoughts are based in reality, or whether they’re simply holding you back. Replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations and supportive self-talk.
One powerful way to silence negative self-talk is through visualization.
Imagine a version of yourself that is confident, successful, and capable. Picture this version of yourself achieving your goals and living the life you desire. When negative self-talk creeps in, remind yourself of this powerful visualization and use it to counteract the negativity.
Don’t Believe Everything You Think
Are you familiar with the saying, “Don’t believe everything you read”?
Well, the same goes for the thoughts you have about yourself! It’s easy to fall into a pattern of negative self-talk and believe every critical thought that pops into your head. But it’s important to challenge those thoughts and question their validity.
Ask yourself, “Is this thought helpful or harmful?” and “What evidence do I have to support this thought?”
By doing so, you can start to reframe negative thoughts and replace them with more positive and empowering ones. Don’t let your thoughts hold you back from achieving your goals and reaching your full potential.
Remember, you are in control of your thoughts, not the other way around.
Embrace the Need for Acceptance and Validation
As humans, we all have a natural desire to feel accepted and validated by others. While it’s important to cultivate internal validation, it’s also okay to acknowledge and embrace the need for external validation.
The key is to strike a healthy balance between the two. Don’t rely solely on external validation for your self-worth, but also don’t dismiss it entirely. It’s okay to seek validation and feedback from others, as long as it doesn’t define your sense of self-worth.
Remember, seeking external validation doesn’t make you weak or needy. It’s a natural human instinct and something that we all crave to some degree.
By embracing this need and finding a healthy balance between internal and external validation, you can cultivate a stronger sense of self-worth and achieve greater success in your personal and professional life.
Conclusion
Remember, relying on external validation can be a never-ending cycle that can lead to self-doubt and low self-esteem.
By practicing these 15 tips for building internal validation, you can take control of your self-worth and feel empowered to achieve your goals.
From positive affirmations to embracing the need for acceptance and validation, each tip offers a unique way to connect with your inner self and build the confidence you need to succeed.
So, take the leap and start your journey toward self-love, self-acceptance, and internal validation today!